... is HARD. I can honestly say that before I was married or had kids I thought I would be really good at it, being a mom that is. I could always get my nieces and nephews and other kids to smile and play with me. Kids seemed to like me. Now that I am a mother of 2 things are a whole lot different. I love my kids, I really do love them more than anything. I would do anything for them. But I guess I never realized the difficulty I would have with lack of sleep. I think that really is the hardest thing for me. I can deal with tantrums, dirty diapers and most anything. But that is only when I have slept, without it I am not patient, not soft and loving like I should be. You always hear such good things about being a mom and having a family. Don't get me wrong I do love it, but I am in serous need of sleep! I just need this little lady to give me more than four hours of sleep at a time. Oh and maybe if the sun would come out as well I would be happier. I miss the sun. So as I sit here and vent I guess I should be happy to have a great husband, two healthy kids and the ability to pray to my Father in Heaven. Life is good and I am going to appreciate it more!
THE END
Oh and p.s. if you have a favorite sleep training method I would love to hear about it, we are in need of some change around here! Thanks :0)
11 comments:
That is what is hardest for me too! If they came sleeping, I Could have 30 kids:) I just use a schedule, which I am sure you using. I never let them sleep any longer than three or four hours during the day. I would get them up and nurse them. Then at night, I would let them sleep as long as they could. #1 was sleeping through the night at 6 weeks. #2 wasn't until 6 months. But eventually they get there. Every baby is different. Get you little naps in while #2 is sleeping and #1 is watching a video. It is hard for everyone Sabby, trust me!
Ugh, I feel you! I had no idea what a wicked witch I would turn into with no sleep! It is pure torture, and no one REALLY gets it until they have done it night after night.
You know my aweseomeness at sleep training...however, I have read lots of books on it. My favorite (and one I would totally buy if I were you) is "The Baby Whisperer Solves All Your Problems" by Tracy HOgg. ($11.51 on Amazon.com). She outlines schedules so your sleep deprived brain doesn't even have to think. If you execute it NOW then you can get that pretty girl sleeping longer than four hours!
Good luck, and remember SOME day she will sleep!! :)
Yep, with the twins the lack of sleep was ridiculous until they were 6 months old. Up every hour or two. I think when they were 4 months I finally got a 5 or 6 hour stretch.
You already know my methods, but I'll recap I guess! I used a combo of The Baby Whisperer and Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child. So basically a modified cry it out. But we didn't cry it out until 6 or 7 months old.
Up until then, I think sleep, eat, play is very important, in that order. And then what I always tell new moms, is in the middle of the night I did everything I could to put them back to sleep without nursing. Gripe water, pacifier, etc. Nursing was my last resort. I think that taught them to stretch longer and longer, but it was more work for me in the short run. However, I know Avery doesn't take a pacifier so in that case, I have no idea what I would do!
Just remember you don't ALWAYS have to be nice loving Mom. Maybe it is just the way I was raised, but Moms have to be tough too. Nothing wrong with that!
I like "real" posts......I never realized how hard it would be either. How would you know??? And would we have signed up had we known? :) Ryker sleeping was probably my hardest challenge the first year. I read multiple books, talked to other moms, etc. I finally resorted to rocking him to sleep. And guess what, I still do. It works for us....he is out in minutes and then I lay him in his crib. And I love the snuggle time. I think after learning all you can, you have to do what works best for your baby. We couldn't deal with the cry it out methods....but I know this works wonderfully with other families. Go with your gut - you're a great mommy! I only wish we could see each other more!!!
Every change that effects our family makes me realize how hard it is to be a mother. Sometimes it's frustrating to only hear the wonderful side of mothering when you live it every day. Some days are just hard, and tiring, and frustrating, and trying on my patience. The fact that you're trying and you recognize the difficulty is a step in the right direction in my opinion. If you were satisfied being cranky impatient mommy than you should be concerned!
Sleep training is a MUST for me too! I need at least 8-10 hrs at night to be functional. That sounds pathetic but it's the truth. We used Babywise flexibly and worked great with both kids. We plan on using it for our 3rd too. Good luck!
I am sorry that you are having such a hard time. My children never slept all the way through the night until after I weened them from nursing. I nursed until a year with both of them. I remember numerous times waking up in the dark and be thinking oh they are alseep. I don't know if you have tried putting her in her car seat. That was my life saver with Annalynn she slept in her car seat at night until she was wiggling her way out of it. Most moms thought I was crazy for it, but my sleep was esential. I need my sleep still do. Like all of the others have said each child is different. Books can be great, but don't always have the answer that will help you. I hope that you have success with the little girl soon. Remember that sometimes we have to let the older one watch a movie while we take a nap. You are a fabulous mom and this to shall pass. Some day you will look back and realize why you are having this trial in life.
I totally feel you on that. I definitely need my sleep. What I used for Porter and the girls was "12 Hours Sleep by 12 Weeks Old" and "Healthy Sleep Habits Happy Child". The 12 hours book worked wonders. I had Porter sleeping the 12 hours by 9 weeks and the twins mostly sleeping the 12 hours by 13 weeks. Scarlet was a tough one with sleep so she did wake up every now and then up until she was eating solids, but it wasn't too bad. Seriously those books are wonderful. And the 12 Hours book is a quick read which helps since moms don't have tons of time. Good luck!
Oh Sabrina, you should look on my blog posts after I had Hudson. I had some huge vents because of lack of sleep and I couldn't heal or feel good after the c-section. I call myself a sleep nazi, because I am with my babies. I'm all about Babywise (well the basic, feed every 2 1/2 to 3 hours, keep them awake for a bit, nap, then feed and so forth). All of my kids were sleeping through the night by 6 weeks or soon after. Another thing I tried to do a friend suggested, was keep them awake from 6-10 (if possible). That helped too, if she is a day sleeper. Hang in there... it does get better (actually you've posted on FB saying it has and hopefully has stayed that way). With Oakley I thought the day would never come, but she was my earliest, but still has nights when she wakes up once... which is still hard. I'm totally an 8-10 hour sleeper and I KNOW how you feel. Now that you've vented, in a few weeks when thing get better... repost and let us know how you are doing!!! XOXO
ps... doesn't make you a bad mom at all. I know you are awesome!!!!
Sabrina...like everyone else who's posted before me...I totally feel for you! The first few months are the hardest before they get into their routine. One thing that has really worked for me with both my boys is a bath using LAVENDER body wash and nice smathering of lotion before their last feeding of the night as well as trying to keep them awake between 6-10. Little A sleeps from about 10pm to 4 or 5am and he's only 7 weeks old. It's a work in progress. Once you get more sleep I'm sure you'll feel better, until then, don't be too hard on yourself! You're a great mom! You were to me when we were roomates! ;-)
My #1 almost completely erased any desire for me to have more children. He was sooo hard and I never slept. He cried and cried and never slept. It makes life so hard, but then I read some book (some of which are mentioend above). I do think children come with different personalities but I also really do think these methods work.
Wish I lived closer and I could take the kidlets for a few hours . . . best of luck.
You're kids are beautiful!! And I can completely relate with the whole being a mom thing...it is HARD and transitioning to 2 kids was probably the hardest yet for me. I hope you remember us, we met very briefly... my husband and Kevin were really good friends. Good to see your cute family. hope all is well.
Jamie
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